


Wash Away the Evidence

by DoctorV



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Blood, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Instability, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-07
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-07-29 21:16:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7699960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorV/pseuds/DoctorV
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry probably shouldn't be letting a dangerous fugitive use his shower, especially to wash away what he's pretty sure is evidence. But he has trouble saying no to his funny-bunny.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wash Away the Evidence

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so...I can explain.  
> ...  
> That is a lie. I cannot explain. I can only babble and flail at you until this possibly makes sense.
> 
> So to start with, this is my own damn fault. Grayce was doing a series of pictures involving a fun hypothetical scenario with a baseball game between [OWCA](http://pandashrine.tumblr.com/post/141457841471/) and [various villains](http://pandashrine.tumblr.com/post/141457832531/) from Phineas & Ferb. _Somehow_ , while discussing this, I thought it would be a good idea to jokingly suggest Dennis/Harry. And...then it became _actual_ shipping. It was an accident and the ship-name is "Funny Bunny". I'm too tired for shame.
> 
> Anyway, during a recent conversation, Grayce mentioned that Dennis and Harry probably didn't start dating until after Dennis was...y'know, not regularly [stabbing OWCA agents with barbeque forks](http://askperryfletcher.tumblr.com/post/148173765870/). And because I am Angst King and ruin everything I touch I took one look at that and said well okay, that's an excellent point, but have you also considered no? Aaand then this happened because I had other things I needed to work on and my brain likes to sabotage me. Have fun! :3

When the doorbell rings, Harry's first thought is that Karen forgot her keys. So he isn't at all prepared when he opens the door, teasing grin at the ready, to find Dennis leaning heavily against the doorframe. It actually takes him a moment, grin freezing in place, to realize it's Dennis under all the blood.

"Are you okay?" Harry blurts out, agent training kicking in as his eyes dart over the man in search of wounds.

Grin tired and voice slurring at the edges, Dennis says, "Hiii, pookie." Then he giggles a little and lets the side of his head rest against the doorframe as well.

Harry reaches for him and Dennis takes that as an invitation to step inside and lean heavily against Harry instead of the doorframe. There's a pinkish smear of blood where he was leaning.

"C'n I use your shower?" Dennis mumbles against Harry's shoulder.

"Uh...yes? Heh." Taking a step back so he can close the front door, Harry feels the nervous laughter welling up inside of him but holds it back for now. "Do you need—"

"Thanks, cutie," Dennis says with renewed vigor, lifting his head to press a quick, damp kiss to Harry's cheek before straightening and heading for the bathroom. He's limping a little.

"Heh," Harry answers even though Dennis probably can't hear him over the sound of the shower starting up. He reaches up to touch his cheek where Dennis kissed him and it no longer feels damp, just tacky. His fingers come back red and he winces, grin more a baring of teeth now than anything else. He goes to the kitchen to wash off his hand and cheek, keeping an ear out for any indication that Dennis might need help.

It sounds like Dennis is humming.

Harry plugs the kitchen sink and takes his shirt off to let it soak for a while. It's dark enough that blood stains might not show up, but he'd rather not risk it. Most of the people who would see him in it  _ are _ OWCA agents, after all.

Next he wets down a few paper towels and goes to take care of the blood smear on the door frame. Hopefully if anyone notices him, they'll wonder about him being topless before they notice the red. When he gets outside, there's also drying blood caked over and around the doorbell. Some of it looks suspiciously like it took Dennis a few tries to actually hit the thing, and there's a handprint on the door itself like he had to brace himself. Even if most of the blood didn't come from Dennis, like Harry suspects is the case, he's pretty sure there's still something wrong with his funny-bunny.

Harry pauses in wiping off the handprint and stares at the door while he reflects that there's kind of  _ always _ something wrong with Dennis.

He shakes his head and gets back to cleaning off the evidence that he's technically harboring a dangerous fugitive in his apartment. That's head stuff, and he doesn't really know how to fix that for Dennis. All he can do is love him, and Harry's not sure that's ever going to be enough.

For right now, though, there's something wronger than the usual with Dennis.

The front door's still open a crack and Harry can hear the doorbell going off while he digs around in the cracks and crevices to clean out the blood, and it makes him giggle wondering if Dennis can hear the  _ ding _ -dong- _ di _ - _ di _ - _ ding _ -do- _ ding _ - _ d _ - _ d _ - _ d _ - _ ding _ -dong! The giggle turns into a laugh which slides into a cackle and soon enough he's struggling to stay upright as he shakes with the force of it.

Breath wheezing as he gets control of himself, Harry rests his forehead against the wall for a moment and focuses on deep, even breaths. It's something Maggie's been working with him on, since her youngest has asthma and breathing exercises apparently help.

He's got this, he can do this. He's an OWCA agent!

Mouth settling into a grimace, Harry glances at the door guiltily, the faint sound of the shower running drifting out. He's an OWCA agent who's letting one of OWCA's most wanted use his shower to wash off what is probably, technically...evidence.

The nervous laughter is lurking in the pit of his stomach as always, but all that escapes him now is a deep sigh. He surveys his handiwork for any hint of red and, finding none, gathers up his pink-stained paper towels and goes back inside. Tossing the towels in the trash and washing his hands again, Harry glances toward the bathroom worriedly. Dennis isn't humming anymore, which admittedly had been a little disturbing but also had served to prove the man was conscious.

The bathroom door isn't closed and there's another smear of blood on the edge, like Dennis absently shoved it on his way through. The room is thick with steam but Harry can still smell a hint of copper-iron tang. All he can hear is the shower itself. Something about the room sets the hairs on the back of his neck on edge.

"Dennis?" he calls gently, remembering the last time he accidentally snuck up on the man. Luckily his reflexes were faster than Dennis's that day and the knife hadn't made contact, but he's learned his lesson about startling his funny-bunny. "You okay? Heh."

There's no response and now he's really worried, because he also can't see Dennis's silhouette through the shower curtain. There would've been a sound if Dennis had fallen, right? He would've heard that.

Uncertain and bracing himself to lunge backwards in case Dennis has something sharp, Harry slowly peers around the curtain. What he sees there has him throwing caution to the wind and shoving the shower curtain out of the way so he can reach Dennis, who is sitting under the spray fully clothed with his arms around his knees and his eyes staring forward blankly.

" _ Dennis _ ," Harry croons soothingly, waving a hand in front of the man's face before reaching for his shoulder. "Funny-bunny. What's wrong?"

Dennis's breath hitches before he gasps and turns wide, wet eyes on Harry. "I was— It just— I didn't..." His lip trembles and he whimpers out, "Harry?"

Climbing into the tub with him, Harry gently shushes Dennis as he gathers him into his arms. His shorts are getting soaked, but they're his ratty lounging-around-on-days-off shorts and he's not wearing anything under them so it doesn't matter. What matters is that Dennis is shaking a little and clinging to him. Despite the water streaming over him, there's still a streak of red on Dennis's forehead and Harry wipes a thumb over it to remove it.

"My leg hurts," Dennis mumbles petulantly, tucking his head under Harry's chin.

"Take your pants off—"

Dennis interrupts with a groan, " _ Really _ not in the mood, Hare."

"—so I can look at it," Harry finishes, then giggles quietly. "Your  _ leg _ , funny-bunny. I'll look at your leg, but you have to get out of your wet clothes first."

Dennis turns a confused look on him, then glances down at himself and suddenly seems to realize he's still dressed. "Oh. ...Right."

With Dennis only participating when directed to, Harry gets the shower shut off and helps the man to sit on the edge of the tub and strip off his vest and shirt. He's pretty sure not even bleach will be able to salvage the white shirt, but he'll try. Then he gets Dennis's socks off, Dennis having at least gotten his shoes off before he climbed in the shower. The pants, Harry lets Dennis deal with mostly on his own, though he holds still for the man when Dennis braces himself on Harry's shoulder.

Letting Dennis keep his underwear for now, even though it's soaked and mostly see-through anyway, Harry kneels in front of him to examine the leg. It doesn't look or feel broken, at least. And there are only a few shallow pink scratches on Dennis, though mostly on his upper body. His ankle looks a little swollen, and when Harry touches it Dennis hisses in a breath and cringes away.

"Looks like a sprain," Harry tells him, carefully lowering Dennis's foot to the ground.

Dennis grimaces, and he's already starting to act more like himself now that he's no longer in the shower. "Do you have any painkillers?" he grumbles. "The adrenaline's wearing off and it hurts like a bitch."

"Yep!" Harry turns away to rummage under the sink, but the first aid kit isn't there. Retrace your steps, he reminds himself. When did he last use it? Patching Karen up after training! In the living room... It's under the couch! "Be right back!"

On his way out of the bathroom, he grabs a towel and tosses it at Dennis, then grins at the indignant yelp.  When he gets there, he crouches in front of the couch and sure enough, there it is. He'd forgotten to put the kit away after using it and it ended up shoved under the couch. Scooping it up with one hand, he shoves himself to his feet and hurries back to Dennis.

When he gets back to the bathroom, he finds Dennis with the towel around his shoulders staring forlornly at the knotted mess his ponytail's become. He apparently didn't remove the elastic band he uses to hold it back before he got in the shower and now he's picking at it trying to get it out of his hair with little success. Kneeling in front of Dennis again, Harry sets the kit down at his side and opens it up. There's a pair of scissors in it and Harry offers them to Dennis rather than offering to cut the band out himself. He knows Dennis isn't comfortable with sharp things near his head when they're in someone else's hands.

Dennis stares at the scissors, then glances at Harry's face, then bites his lip while indecision plays across his face. Finally, decision made, he turns his head to the side and grimaces again. "You do it," he mutters, shoulders hunching a little. "It's too far back, I can barely see it."

"I'll be careful," Harry promises, petting a hand over Dennis's ponytail before curling his fingers around it to hold it in place. He slides the scissors under the band, trying to avoid as much hair as possible, and snips it off. Setting the scissors aside on the floor, Harry slowly works the elastic string out of Dennis's hair. "There we go, heh, all better."

When he looks up again, Dennis is staring at him, an odd expression on his face. At Harry's uncertain grin, Dennis looks away and whispers, "Thank you, Harry."

"Sure thing, funny-bunny," he replies, then starts digging through the first aid kit so he can finish taking care of Dennis.

**Author's Note:**

> Did you have fun with this bizarre little writing experiment? Well you'd have been reading it a week earlier if you were a patron on [my joint patreon](https://www.patreon.com/grayceanddoc?ty=h)!
> 
> ...Yeah that's all I got. I'm also too tired for lengthy pimping. Patrons get stuff a week early and also an automatic 250 Cool Points for signing up. What are the Cool Points for? Can you trade them in for anything cool? The answer to both of these questions is "No." But you do get stuff a week early, so there's that.
> 
> G'night everybody! :D


End file.
